The Profligate
Luke 15:11
Rebellion, Recklessness, Realization, Repentance, Restoration
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The Prodigal Child's Home

Dancing Jak had a plan.

It would be both more correct and less correct to say that Jak has a plan though, because Jak will die soon. Jak still has a plan, but it may as well be expressed in past tense because at this point there isn't much he can do about it. And Jak is none too happy that he will die soon. He doesn't think he has yet carried out his plan to his own satisfaction.

When Jak was a young man he knew what he had to do. As soon as he understood what he meant to accomplish he developed his plan. Since that day, Jak has worked and worked towards making his plan work. When he did things other people didn't understand, chances were that they were all part of his plan. Most things were.

Dancing Jak knows that the success of his plan depends on nobody knowing about it until too late, if at all. That was the only part of his plan that he ever had second thoughts about. After all, it really is a beautifully laid out plan, and if nobody ever knows about it, who'll ever be able to admire it? So in order to offset the unsettling thought that once he was gone nobody would know about his plan, Jak decided to lay clues. Every now and then he would place one, a bread crumb on his trail in the hopes that somebody might suspect his plan, but never be able to prove it. And then when he was gone, somebody would finally find all of the pieces, fit them together, and know what his plan was.

Dancing Jak spent his whole life working on making his plan work, and now it is almost over. In reflection, Dancing Jak thinks that he carried out his plan rather well. It never was the kind of plan with a climax, Jak always thought that endeavours that had to be tended to and nurtured had more style, and accordingly his plan culminated over years. Jak just fears that he hasn't planted enough clues, and that once he's gone, nobody will care enough to bother with them anyway.

Dancing Jak is finding it hard to breathe now, which is too bad because he wants more than anything to be rent by sobbing for the fact that it will all probably come to naught. Sure he succeeded in carrying out his plan, sure there may be enough clues for someone to piece together, but... but what it nobody cared to piece it together? Now that Jak is dying, his thoughts are only on the idea that he had managed to ignore for so long, that all his planning will only be useful if somebody cares enough to study what he's done, and the life of relative obscurity he's lead until now may mean that there may be nobody who cares so much.

But there isn't time to do anything about it now, Dancing Jak's eyes are closing. His final feelings are satisfaction at a job well done, and anxiety that even in his death he may fail. His final thought is a desperate plea.

Long live Dancing Jak.